It appears I've still got some learning to do, as I didn't update this on the regular like I wanted. Last you heard I was returning to the bubble to find a new ship and take a new direction; the vastness and deepness of space got to me and I didn't enjoy the time in the Anaconda. I did however enjoy the sites on the back to the bubble, and judging by the flightlog, I arrived back in the bubble roughly November 1st, 2020 and lingered around dealing with my business for about a week and a half. November 11th, 2020 I set out again towards my original goal, but this time going straight for Sagittarius A...

And unlike last time I had a different ship, a new ship that had new capabilities, and a whole new feel that was much more what I was looking for. After much deliberation, the Phantom Krait was my choice, and I absolutely love this ship! I have maxed it out to the best of my current available choices, and it made the voyage to Sagittarius A incredibly smooth. Leaving November 11th, 2020 I arrived in Sagittarius A on November 26th, 2020. In that time I feel like I both saw the sights, but also kept a rather brisk pace to my goal. This time, I was going to succeed in some major Elite goal, and this was going to be it.

The beauty of this area of space cannot be expressed in words. The sheer amount of stars nearly blocks the sky behind it. While the voyage to the center became less lonely, it slowly became more overwhelming too. Having spent a while just taking in the vast black hole that holds our universe together, I eventually came to the conclusion I would proceed to Colonia as originally intended. After I spend a week or two in Colonia and the surrounding Nebula, I will make the voyage home. I will perhaps try to revisit Mount Elizabeth on the way back and see the sights again. I think this will make for a great voyage story to recall on.

It is now April 3rd, 2021 and I've been suspended between Sagittarius A and Colonia for a while now, just taking a break from being in the pilot seat. I haven't seen a single ship pop up on my radar the entire time, and I kind of like that. That said, there's only a asteroid field and a star here, so maybe that's why. After several months of a vacation and rest, I will continue my voyage to the furthest reaches of humanity.

o7

Last you heard I was mentally battling with what I was going do to, return home and admit I failed my mission? Or, do I continue on and not enjoy the entire last length of the journey? I came the realization that being an explorer I find pure joy when I'm enjoying the ship I'm flying. I really miss the ASP Explorer, and I think that is what I'm going to switch out to, so I began venturing back home.

As of writing this I am 200 jumps away from Diaguandri in a system called Blae Drye EW-C b32-1 -- roughly 5k Ly away from home. On the way I also decided to be more apt to stop an smell the roses basically and enjoy the sights. As I started to head home I jumped into an unexplored system called Pyraleau YG-M b40-11 and the first planet Pyraleau YG-M b40-11 1 was the first I was going to land on and explore a bit. Once I got close enough, I found these absolutely gorgeous mountains that just reached for the star it orbited. I immedietly saw this giant mountain and wanted to traverse to the summit in my SRV. I landed at the closes place I could find at the base of the mountain but had to of been at least 200km away from the base of the mountain. The terrain was treacherous but overall beautiful due to the red/orange-ish coloring to it. After about 1.5 hours I finally reached the summit and sat there while I ate my lunch. Sights like this are what make exploring all the more worth it.

o7

CMDR Soulcrifice

It's a shame I never committed to updating this regularly, but here we are. Two years after I set out to find myself in this galaxy, I'm about 7k Ly away from the bubble as of writing this. I'm sitting in the thickness of deep space, not sure if I should turn back towards my original goal, or return to the bubble.

Here is my story..

I can't remember when, but roughly a year ago I obtained the Anaconda ship, and I began outfitting it for a true voyage. A voyage of pilgrimage greater than that of the Hutton Orbital mug trip, this was the trip to Colonia. I'd heard of the great voyage, and I had even heard of a common nightmare among CMDR's who've made the voyage, and those who have tried, but ultimately failed. The one common threat to CMDR's isn't pirates or even Thargroid, but rather simple space madness. Essentially after a while in deep space with no real change to the daily routine, one can become rather insane with the vastness of space; the sheer emptiness of their now reality. In the midst of my preparations for my trip I had heard of these tales of space madness but never gave it much thought. Mostly because I figured I'd be too busy looking at the sights than caring about being alone, after all, I was playing in solo. So in reality, I've always been alone, even when in the bubble, doing cargo missions or ferrying the rich to exotic locations, I was always really alone..or was I? You see, what I soon realized once I had made it a few thousand light years out, that regardless of the fact that what I attributed to "real people" being NPC's, I still felt like I was interacting with a living world. A living world which based on player interaction dictated, even in solo, what missions were available and which resources were valuable. This gave me a sense of immersion in a virtual society but still helped maintain a reality. The best I can describe this is as in the movie "I Am Legend" as the main character is driven to the point where he has to create a daily routine that resembles normal society to keep from going insane by the fact that he's the last person on Earth. So albeit I was alone, I didn't feel alone, and I felt like I contributed to this society of NPC's and other player interaction, but it helped from essentially, going insane, or just driven mad by the fact that no one was really there.

So as I started to come to the realization that I wasn't anywhere near a person and that I was truly alone, I began to also question why I was even doing it. Why am I subjecting myself to isolation in the vastness and danger of space? I liked finding new things and scanning planets, but after the first couple hundred jumps, I no longer cared, and honestly didn't even bother to see the difference between any one given star system. Sure I'd do a general scan of the area, and maybe scan a celestial body, but other than that, I'd just repeat the same mundane process that is exploration. Somehow I couldn't shake this mentality once it set root in my mind, and as I continued on, and even found things worth taking pictures of, I began questioning the value of what I was doing. Was I just scanning the same thing over and over, or actually seeing things that are truly unique?

Albeit some systems look a lot alike, there are plenty that don't, that really do stand out. At one point in my journey I came upon a place to dock my ship and sell some data, and this was probably close to 4k Ly away from Sol. That was the first time I realized I was actually doing something valuable, as I had actually been the first to discover a handful of planets. The reward that came with seeing my name slapped on a planet as the first to discover, it was truly awesome. Unfortunately it wasn't enough to keep me going as I felt the need to grind with something that felt a little more immediate on it's returns. Cargo, trading, ferrying, these all have a pretty quick return on your initial time investment, whereas with exploring, unless there's someplace to sell data, there's very little reward for a long time. Some never touch a star port until they get back to the bubble as a way to really immerse themselves, or just go beyond predefined routes. This means there's a long time between when you collect data, and when you can sell it and reap the rewards you've sewn. This is when I began to really combat my space madness and eventually I succumb to giving up on my voyage and heading back home. 60 jumps after that decision is where I sit now, jotting my thoughts down in hopes to make sense of what I want to do. Continue on my journey in a ship I don't enjoy as much, or head home, earn some money and break up the monotony and then return to the voyage?

Only time will tell, but the longer I sit in idle, the quicker the madness takes over my mind.

o7

CMDR Soulcrifice

I've been a Commander now for almost a week now and I've explored over 500 systems. I love space and have since my youth and now it's my playground. Lately I've been using my new dolphin ship to transport the rich and refugees. I quite like the work and the pay is much better than almost getting you ass blown off. I don't miss the core and I will not go back, but I still do transportation for the Federation. I've gained a good amount of reputation for being reliable transportation, so that's something to be proud of. If i can get enough saved up I'll get a good explorer ship and start scanning systems.

Until next time.

o7

CMDR Soulcrifice